You are a young, ambitious and likely very attractive Calgarian. After years of university, college, apprenticing and grinding your way through your mid-twenties; working late, pushing papers and building up that resume, your name is called by the management-types. You are selected to be sent on a business trip!
At first you might be excited; travel the world, meet interesting people and get paid for it! What could possibly be terrible about that?
A lot actually. Backpacking through France and Germany with a charming American girl and a hilarious Austrian body-building this is not (true story). It is rare that your business trip will land you in a tropical paradise or an ancient historic city. From boarding planes to booking boardrooms, a business trip will test the fibre of your very being; challenging your sanity in ways you never imagined.
Business trips don’t usually include things like this.
With these tips – and a bit of luck – your trip will be not only tolerable, but a great opportunity to explore and test your capabilities personally and professionally!
Follow this advice and you will be back in YYC before you know it.
How to Pack!
The goal here is to not check your luggage – costly and time consuming – if you can and not be an Overhead Bin Jerk. An Overhead Bin Jerk is the person that believes their bag can fit in an overhead bin when the laws of physics and space-time clearly demonstrate it cannot. A typical flight has between 50-100% of people in this category (likely including you, until now of course). This is a business trip, not a mountaineering expedition in the Himalayas. Pack as little as possible. I recommend two pairs of shoes – professional and runners – and the minimum of everything else. Wear all bulky clothes on the plane, not in your bag.
PRO-TIP: Squish-able bag! It gives you the flexibility to smash it into the one remaining spot of the overhead bin where others dare not attempt. Do not believe the hype that your clothes will somehow be in better shape in a hard-sided bag, it’s a trick by Big Luggage conglomerates to sell more boxy luggage to hapless travellers. Your clothes will be in terribly wrinkly regardless.
To the Airport!
Heading of Calgary, catch the Calgary Transit Route 300. It travels every 20 minutes from Downtown Calgary to the Airport and has limited stops. Route 300 takes about 20 – 30 minutes to get to the airport. Some buses even have luggage racks and you get to skip the Deerfoot Trail madness. Calgary Transit Website here.
To Customs!
If you are going through customs to the United States in Calgary, makes sure you know who you are and what you are doing on the plane. This is harder than it sounds surprisingly. The Americans get a little jumpy when you are not sure where you work, how long you will be in their country and what it is you are doing while there. Remember to include the address of the hotel; it is mandatory part of the form. I have gotten an earful for forgetting to write the address in several times and have been “little-roomed” once over this (true story).
To Security!
All the professional travellers load up a jacket pocket with all coins, phones, keys and other pocket-stuff well before reaching the security line. Remove the laptop from the bag and place it by itself. Those trick alone save you a huge amount of time.
If possible aim for a line without small children. Also avoid lines with entirely business travellers because they will not be a pro like you and will be fumbling with change, their mountain of electronics and their fancy lace-up shoes. Find the goldilocks line, with a nice mix of travellers but no obvious time-wasters.
PRO-TIP: Try to avoid getting into the security line where a guy is attempting to export live fish in his carry-on (true story). All sorts of alarms start ringing and you can say goodbye to your on-time flight. I haven’t quite figured out a strategy to be able to pick out who is carrying live animals through security, so I walked right into this trap. Post a comment if you can think of some way to avoid this.
When you Land!
Go to the bathroom. If this is your first trip to this city, you may not be able to estimate how long until you get to the hotel accurately.
PRO-TIP: If you have to rent a car when you get there – definitely avoid if you can – rent the ugliest car available. Stay away from white, black and grey sedans. Lean towards the green, yellow or puke coloured ones. Helps tremendously when you have left your car somewhere and all the cars in a parking lot look identical. It will save you time and give you an interesting talking point to anyone you meet.
The Neon Dragon, try hiding this baby in a sea of parked cars. Saved me hours of searching over a week!
To the Hotel!
Map ahead of time your route to the hotel. It is possible that you may not have internet or Wi-Fi on the network you now find yourself in and there are a lot of confusing places out there. Always pick a hotel close to where you will be spending your time if possible.
When you get there unpack everything and hang up for business clothes. Start the de-wrinkling period immediately.
PRO-TIP: If you do not have an interest – or in my case, skill – in working a clothes iron, hang your wrinkly gear in the washroom. A few days of steamy showers will smooth things out in no time.
To the Bar!
Usually I would avoid the hotel bar – too many lost souls on the road too long – but I make the exception for hotels that have patrons attending a conference. These people are the best part of travelling for business.
Picture dozens of happy people who get to skip work in another city with the company bank-rolling their entertainment accounts. They do not even have to work usually, most conference attendees just sit in the back and nurse their hangovers while listening to someone else mumble on at the front of the room.
PRO-TIP: Get a job where your company sends you to conferences like this. After you are settled, recommend me for a position there as well.
Photo courtesy of Aero Icarus on Flickr
Hopefully now you now have the basics to survive your first trip; just repeat the steps again on the way back and try not to get fired for gross negligence while travelling (NOT a true story … yet).
Happy travels!
Post by Greg McCarthy @G_Mc_C