For some reason, there seems to be a lot of judgment when it comes to dining solo in a restaurant. I’ve faced a lot of it as someone who enjoys eating meals alone from time to time, and while it doesn’t stop me from continuing the practise, I know it stops a lot of people from doing it again.
I’ve heard “Oh, just for one…” in hushed tones from hostesses, or “Why doesn’t a pretty girl like you have a date tonight?” from servers. I’ve received sympathetic looks, as though there is something sad about a person eating a meal alone. Even my mom has scoffed about it, and is far more uncomfortable about it than I ever have been.
I get it, eating is a very social activity. Sharing food and drinks has been a way for people to celebrate and spend time together for centuries. But… There are a ton of reasons for someone to be eating alone in a restaurant. Perhaps they’re here on a business trip, and they don’t have anyone else to dine with. Maybe they’re simply on their break from work, and didn’t feel like brown bagging their lunch. Maybe they’re a parent who paid a sitter to watch their kids so they can go eat a meal in peace for once. Or, if they’re like me, they don’t see anything wrong with enjoying some delicious food with the company of a good book. Not having to worry about cooking or doing dishes after is just a bonus.
Here are a few tips so that the next time you’re really craving your favourite meal but have no one to go with you, or if you just want to try getting out of your comfort zone by going to eat alone:
1) Bring something to keep yourself occupied
I am all for enjoying the meal and the ambiance of the restaurant without any distractions, but I also like using this time to catch up on the news or to get in an hour of reading the latest book I’m absorbed in. How often do you get an hour (give or take) to focus on something without interruption or distraction, while also eating a meal you didn’t have to cook and drinking a cocktail or two?
2) Choose your establishment wisely
While I have my usual go-to restaurants, it’s always fun to try new places (and wine!) I have a bit of a system going for how to choose where I go:
- No bars – Loud, busy and females typically attract unwanted attention if they’re alone at a bar (unfortunately)
- No chain restaurants – Full of kids and bad music, not the best environment for enjoying your meal in peace
- Establishments with entertainment (comedy clubs or restaurants with stages like the Ironwood) are great if you’re hesitant. They’re dark, they have great (and usually cheap) drinks, and people are there to watch what’s on stage, not to gaze around the restaurant to see who is there
- Avoid peak times (11:30AM-2:30PM and 5:30PM-7:30PM) – Your server won’t be grumpy that you’re taking up a two-top during their prime money-making hours, and there is more elbow room. Win-win!
- Avoid date nights (Friday and Saturday) – While people watching, do you really want to see PDA and people eating off each other’s forks? I don’t.
3) If you want to be social, eat at the bar of a restaurant
Some people are fine with eating alone, but prefer to have a bit of conversation while they do. If that’s you, eating at the bar is your best bet. Most sushi restaurants have sushi bars and the chefs can be very interactive with you if you initiate conversation (and they aren’t too overwhelmed with preparing food), and steak houses have great lounges with comfy chairs and a more casual, cheaper menu than what the restaurant offers. Caesar’s Steakhouse in Willow Park has a beautiful lounge and very friendly bartenders, and eating a steak in the bar alone is a lot less conspicuous (if that’s something you’re worried about) than eating in the restaurant.
4) Relax
At the end of the day, there’s no reason to be self-conscious. Life is too short to worry about what others are thinking about you for eating alone. They’re too involved with their own meal and experience to think much about yours, if at all. Push yourself out of your comfort zone, it’s fun! If you can’t enjoy your own company, who can!?